Dead guys dont lie
by Fachewy
Summary: Everyone is mixing work and pleasure, poor Ducky is left trying to figure out just who is with who...m
1. wake up call

**I dont own anything...**

She woke up her dark hair across her face, drool left a mark on her pillow and the sun was shining in her eyes. The evil red numbers on the alarm clock where blinking as the heinous plastic machine bellowed in her ear. Letting out a moan she reached up and grabbed the bra that was hanging on the bed post and quickly fastened it around her, she made her way across the room quietly and opened a drawer where she has slid out a pair of black underwear and quickly put them on. She had a few minutes before she had to wake her partner and decided to use the time wisely to freshen up. Coming out of the bathroom, polished and dressed, she walked back over to the large bed and pulled all of the covers to floor.

"Come on get up, Gibbs will kill us if we are late." She pleaded. There was a moan from the pillow as the young woman shoved the lump of a human off the bed. Who sprang up, prepared for work and followed their coworker out the door.

* * *

Across town a similar plot was unfolding. One of NCIS team members groaned as they heard their alarm go off, and rolled over on the mattress.

"Why don't we save some time and shower together?" kissing their coworker. Who replied with a simple moan. They rolled off the mattress that was placed on the floor and sifted through the mess on the floor to the bathroom, where they both prepared for a long days work.

* * *

At the office McGee sat at his desk trying creating a new software database. Tony played a video game, Ziva fingered through some paperwork. And Abby sat on Gibbs desk sucking a lollipop and kicking her feet.

"Good morning team," Gibbs said in a voice that made it quite obvious that he loved being up at this hour. "We have an interesting one on our hands today. A young marine, Private Andrew Stephens, was found dead with a two month old baby in his arms. They were found outside of a grocery store in the vic's car, a shopper heard the baby screaming and thought the marine fell asleep. Our vic had no children; a girlfriend who worked at a local dance club and get this no one knows where the baby is from." He finished with his eye brow raise, proving that it would be a long day.

All three of his field agents surrounded him, looking into his eyes. McGee started.

"I'll run a background check on him and the girlfriend using the new computer database, using FBI, CIA and military files."

Tony next up "I'll go interview the girlfriend my specialty" he grinned.

"I'll collect all the evidence from the FBI, search the crime scene and then try to get a warrant on that baby." Ziva finished.

"No need Ziva," the director walked up holding the precious child. She handed the child to Abby who cooed over it.

"Thank you director." Gibbs pursed his lips and turned to his crew as the director walked off. Ever since Jenny tried to demote him the director and Gibbs hadn't played very nice. "Abby run every test you can on that thing." Abby looked appalled but grabbed at the chance to play with the child.

The team started to walk away but Gibbs called out, "Yo, back here."

The team gave a concerned look and walked back to Gibbs who sat silently at his desk with his hands folded. "Is there something I have to be concerned about?" They each shot glances at each other. "I see that each member of my team has gotten lucky last night. Coincidence? I doubt it. And before you ask how I know, McGee your tie is perfect someone else fixed it. Tony your hairs not done, either ran out of gel or time. Ziva your wearing the same pants as yesterday, although I might add cleverly disguised with a different belt and shoes. And finally my dear sweet Abby, you're smiling. Let's not let this affect the way we work with each other. Dismissed"

"But sir…" Ziva started. Gibbs looked at her. She turned a slight shade of pink. "Abby is always smiling."

"Ziva are you proposing that the rest of you had a threesome?" At this the team fled to their assignments and Gibbs smiled.

Ducky walked up, "Gibbs the bodies here. Oh and sometimes you even have me fooled."

"What are you talking about Ducky?" Gibbs looked confused.

"Well I can relate it best back to a case in '87, that involved a dental assistant, a dry cleaner and two circus elephants that hid in a graveyard…" Ducky continued his trip down memory lane as he followed Gibbs to the morgue.

* * *

Meanwhile at the crime scene Ziva bagged baby puke as evidence and had the victim's vehicle towed to Abby. The entire time she thought of what Gibbs said. **'Coincidence? I think not'**. She wondered what he really knew. She wrung her hands in worry, and decided to distract herself with work. There were plenty of people to interview and the store had security tapes to review.

* * *

Abby made the child a soft bed and took the swaddling blanket for detection of any foreign substances; she then took a DNA sample and looked for any signs of attack on the baby, even lifting a few finger prints. She was feeding the child when she started to think about what Gibbs said. **'Abby you're smiling'**. He couldn't read her that easily. Or could he. She would have to worry about it later she had a child to care for and a car to detail.

* * *

McGee, found plenty of information about the couple but it took him a few minutes to put together a report for Gibbs. He was distracted; he thought no one knew about his relationship. **'Each member of my team got lucky last night'**. He shook the thoughts out of his head and went back to his work.

* * *

Tony sat at the bar waiting for the girlfriend to get done a private show. **'Let's not let this affect the way we work together.'** Sounds like the boss approved, but he wondered who else knew about his adventures.


	2. whom?

Tony sat in the strip club for about an hour before he could talk to Lisa Walters, the victim's girlfriend.

She didn't even know her lover was dead. Shock had overcome her and she had to be escorted to a back room to calm herself.

'Damn I hate these kind' Tony thought. It was clear from the short interview that Lisa had nothing to do with Stephens mysterious death, and not much information that could help.

After leaving the club Tony received a phone call, he immediately recognized the number and quickly answered the call.

"Agent DiNozzo speaking," He smirked at his professionalism.

"Tony, Did you tell anybody about… you know?" The concerned voice ignored his attempt at maturity.

"Relax. I didn't tell a soul."

"Then how did Gibbs know?!" Raising the tone.

"You know Gibbs he's a detective, he figures stuff out, he always knows."

"Tony, what if…?" the voice started.

"Don't worry baby, we won't get fired. Stop thinking about it and get back to work. We have a case to solve." At this Tony hung up his phone and made his way to the office.

* * *

Back at headquarters, Tony met Ziva and McGee at Gibbs desk.

Gibbs stared up at the group, trying to decide who to ask first. Then Tony blurted his worthless news.

"I got nothing, she doesn't know a thing about the kid or who would hurt him. " Tony looked to the floor. "She was really upset, she truly loved him."

Ziva followed, "I sent the car to Abby, I interviewed the woman who found them and bagged some evidence. The security cameras in the parking lot are duds to scare off thieves. So I really don't have much either," as she slammed baby puke on the desk.

"McGee, Probie, have some news for me." Gibbs turned to his last member.

"Sorry sir, nothing unusual in his background. The only thing that caught my eye, Stephens was a sperm donor."

"Ahhh McGee your perfect, come with me. You two get this puke to Abby."

* * *

"Abby, find anything interesting?" Ziva asked.

"Boy did I, you'll never believe who little Evila is related to?" Abby excitedly asked.

"Who is little Evila?" Tony gripped.

"The baby, duh." Abby said, looking to Ziva to bank her up.

Ziva gave Abby a blank stare. "You named it?"

"Evila…" Tony continued.

"Well I couldn't keep calling her it, or girl so I gave her a name. And I thought Evila was perfect. It's alive backwards." Abby giggled.

Ziva and Tony conceded the argument and looked to Abby for the critical information.

"Well anyway Evila belongs to no other that Stephens family tree, and she also is related to Walters. Someone lied about having children."

* * *

Ducky stood over the dead body of Andrew Stephens. It was quite obvious he was dead, the man had several bullet wounds in his chest and one in the back of his neck. Poor boy, he thought. His mind drifted away from work matter into the social aspects of the team, he knew something was going on. But he couldn't quite pinpoint it. Who was with whom? Tony. Abby. Ziva. McGee. It just didn't quite fit together. After puzzling his brain for another few minutes, Ducky gave up.

"Working with dead bodies is way easier than live ones. You don't tell me any lies!" Ducky surveyed, speaking to Stephens.


End file.
